The Beauty of Ashes

TEN RECOVERY STEPS: AFTER BEING BURNT IN A RELATIONSHIP.

This note is based on the message that I got from a Sermon I listened to from a Christian Radio Station during the night of 20 September 2010. I can not recall who the Preacher was, but the Sermon was entitled “The Beauty of Ashes” which is based on Isaiah 61: 1- 3 (NIV).

I may not have grasped the entire message of the sermon but I believe that some people will be assisted in one way or another. I have written it to comfort those who are burnt in life through loss, broken relationships, being cheated through broken promises and many more.

Remember what you are becoming after being burnt is more important than what you have been. Emotions belong to you and you can choose them.

 ISAIAH 61: 1 - 3 - THE YEAR OF THE LORD’S FAVOUR

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,] 2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favour and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendour.

 1) KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHER PEOPLE’S ACTIONS When someone made a decision or taken an action that affects you emotionally do not carry somebody’s burden on your head. Stop self condemnation. Do not be a sacrificial lamb for somebody’s action.  

2) DON”T EMBARRASS OR HUMILIATE YOURSELF Do not let people to use you as their doormat. If someone has left you it is his or her choice. You need your dignity. You are a human being created in the image of God.  

3) THE GRIEF IS A PROCESS NOT A DESTINATION Do not force an emotion. Grieve as much as possible and get over it, but do not let it haunt you for the rest of your life. Pain is never permanent. A grief of 40 days is ideal and biblical.

 4) YOUR EXPERIENCE IS NOT UNIQUE There are other people who are going and have gone through the same experience. You are not the only one and do not develop the “Elijah syndrome”.  

5) THE HEALING STARTS FROM WITHIN It starts when you surrender to the Lord through the Holy Spirit. This will change your heart. This may not be so easy to some people but it is the only way of healing.

6) THERE IS POWER IN FORGIVENESS Forgiveness is a release of pain. Unless the pain is taken out by forgiveness it can not be relieved. Forgiveness is like removing a bullet from a wound in order to allow it to heal. You can not get someone new without removing the pain. If you do so it is like covering a wound whilst a bullet is still in the body.  

7) EMBRACE GOD’S RECONSTRUCTION God will use people in the healing process. New people, new places and new principles and ideas will be introduced in your life.

8) BE GUIDE BY THE WISDOM OF YOUR EXPERIENCE Be wise not cynical or sceptical about a new relationship. Do not conclude that all men or women are the same.  

9) LEARN TO TRUST AGAIN There will be doubts in new relationships. Remember life does not give us guarantees but opportunities.

10) SMILE AND CELEBRATE YOUR RECOVERY Look back at your life and smile. Laugh at yourself. Come back to your senses. Do not take your victory for granted.

Finally Read Psalms 40: 1 - 3

1 I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. 2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. 3 He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the LORD and put their trust in him.

Amen !