The Beauty of Ashes

TEN RECOVERY STEPS: AFTER BEING BURNT IN A RELATIONSHIP.

This note is based on the message that I got from a Sermon I listened to from a Christian Radio Station during the night of 20 September 2010. I can not recall who the Preacher was, but the Sermon was entitled “The Beauty of Ashes” which is based on Isaiah 61: 1- 3 (NIV).

I may not have grasped the entire message of the sermon but I believe that some people will be assisted in one way or another. I have written it to comfort those who are burnt in life through loss, broken relationships, being cheated through broken promises and many more.

Remember what you are becoming after being burnt is more important than what you have been. Emotions belong to you and you can choose them.

 ISAIAH 61: 1 - 3 - THE YEAR OF THE LORD’S FAVOUR

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,] 2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favour and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendour.

 1) KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHER PEOPLE’S ACTIONS When someone made a decision or taken an action that affects you emotionally do not carry somebody’s burden on your head. Stop self condemnation. Do not be a sacrificial lamb for somebody’s action.  

2) DON”T EMBARRASS OR HUMILIATE YOURSELF Do not let people to use you as their doormat. If someone has left you it is his or her choice. You need your dignity. You are a human being created in the image of God.  

3) THE GRIEF IS A PROCESS NOT A DESTINATION Do not force an emotion. Grieve as much as possible and get over it, but do not let it haunt you for the rest of your life. Pain is never permanent. A grief of 40 days is ideal and biblical.

 4) YOUR EXPERIENCE IS NOT UNIQUE There are other people who are going and have gone through the same experience. You are not the only one and do not develop the “Elijah syndrome”.  

5) THE HEALING STARTS FROM WITHIN It starts when you surrender to the Lord through the Holy Spirit. This will change your heart. This may not be so easy to some people but it is the only way of healing.

6) THERE IS POWER IN FORGIVENESS Forgiveness is a release of pain. Unless the pain is taken out by forgiveness it can not be relieved. Forgiveness is like removing a bullet from a wound in order to allow it to heal. You can not get someone new without removing the pain. If you do so it is like covering a wound whilst a bullet is still in the body.  

7) EMBRACE GOD’S RECONSTRUCTION God will use people in the healing process. New people, new places and new principles and ideas will be introduced in your life.

8) BE GUIDE BY THE WISDOM OF YOUR EXPERIENCE Be wise not cynical or sceptical about a new relationship. Do not conclude that all men or women are the same.  

9) LEARN TO TRUST AGAIN There will be doubts in new relationships. Remember life does not give us guarantees but opportunities.

10) SMILE AND CELEBRATE YOUR RECOVERY Look back at your life and smile. Laugh at yourself. Come back to your senses. Do not take your victory for granted.

Finally Read Psalms 40: 1 - 3

1 I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. 2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. 3 He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the LORD and put their trust in him.

Amen !

The Shock After

I was watching a sermon, via satellite television, recently. The theme of the sermon was on "The Shock on The Day of Judgement" . This was according to scripture from Matthew: 7, 21 - 23 , Matthew: 25, 11 - 12 , Luke:13, 26 - 27 and 1 John: 4, 20 .

The Lord is telling us that it is not everyone who says "Lord, Lord" to Him that shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

There is a tendency to think that, by doing what is perceived to be "good" in the eyes of men, it will make one righteous. This is not necessarily the case.

A good deed maybe done in bad faith. For example, one can give you a gift (which is a good act in itself ) but with an intention to get a favour from you. The "gift" then becomes a bribe and is a crime which is punishable by law.

In the Bible there is a story of a man who died when he got hold of the ark of God as it lost balance whilst being transported.

The Lord had commanded that the ark was not to be touched at all .

"When they arrived at the threshing floor of Nacon, Uzzah reached out and grabbed hold of the ark of God, because the oxen stumbled. The Lord was so furious with Uzzah, he killed him on the spot for his negligence. He died right there beside the ark of God." (2 Samuel 6:6-7).

A lot of people have been trapped by machinations of others which are intended to lure them into sin.

Consider the imaginary story of a couple that has been married for thirty years and has four children. The man is send for a six month course overseas. Whilst there, he falls in love with a woman who is a fellow trainee at the institution where the course is conducted.

For thirty years the couple was happily married, until when the man meets the other woman who lures him into sin. This is like the story of Uzzah who grabbed and got hold of the ark of God. His excuse ? "because the oxen stumbled" !

He decides to divorce his wife of thirty years because of the alleged infidelity. He engages a divorce lawyer so that the woman he met overseas is able to marry him as soon as he comes back from training. The couple which is about to be divorced, had married and made their vows before God in a church. This comes as a shock to fellow christian members. His reason for divorce is an allegation that the wife has been unfaithful to him whilst he was overseas. He even got some photos taken by a "private detective" showing his wife in the company of other men at late hours. These photos are actually doctored to suit the alleged unfaithfulness.

On arrival at the airport from overseas, the man and his fiancee are not received by any family members. They do not approve of the marriage .

A $10,000 wedding is planned to take place within a month of their arrival.

They decide to stay in a rented flat where they are to stay for sometime before they buy a house to live in.

Their wedding is attended by a handful of people. The church to which the man and his wife had been members for many years of their lives has nothing to do with it.

On the day of the wedding, they are struck by a bolt of lightning, moments before they make their vows before a priest, who was hired to marry them.

The priest survives and is hospitalised for thirty days as a result of burns he sustains from the bolt of lightning.

The lesson we learn from this fictious story is this :
"If anyone says "I love God" and yet hates his fellow Christian, he is a liar, because the one who does not love his fellow Christian whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen." (1 John 4:20).

Christianity is about following the will of God, not the whims of men.