The Beauty of Ashes

TEN RECOVERY STEPS: AFTER BEING BURNT IN A RELATIONSHIP.

This note is based on the message that I got from a Sermon I listened to from a Christian Radio Station during the night of 20 September 2010. I can not recall who the Preacher was, but the Sermon was entitled “The Beauty of Ashes” which is based on Isaiah 61: 1- 3 (NIV).

I may not have grasped the entire message of the sermon but I believe that some people will be assisted in one way or another. I have written it to comfort those who are burnt in life through loss, broken relationships, being cheated through broken promises and many more.

Remember what you are becoming after being burnt is more important than what you have been. Emotions belong to you and you can choose them.

 ISAIAH 61: 1 - 3 - THE YEAR OF THE LORD’S FAVOUR

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,] 2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favour and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendour.

 1) KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHER PEOPLE’S ACTIONS When someone made a decision or taken an action that affects you emotionally do not carry somebody’s burden on your head. Stop self condemnation. Do not be a sacrificial lamb for somebody’s action.  

2) DON”T EMBARRASS OR HUMILIATE YOURSELF Do not let people to use you as their doormat. If someone has left you it is his or her choice. You need your dignity. You are a human being created in the image of God.  

3) THE GRIEF IS A PROCESS NOT A DESTINATION Do not force an emotion. Grieve as much as possible and get over it, but do not let it haunt you for the rest of your life. Pain is never permanent. A grief of 40 days is ideal and biblical.

 4) YOUR EXPERIENCE IS NOT UNIQUE There are other people who are going and have gone through the same experience. You are not the only one and do not develop the “Elijah syndrome”.  

5) THE HEALING STARTS FROM WITHIN It starts when you surrender to the Lord through the Holy Spirit. This will change your heart. This may not be so easy to some people but it is the only way of healing.

6) THERE IS POWER IN FORGIVENESS Forgiveness is a release of pain. Unless the pain is taken out by forgiveness it can not be relieved. Forgiveness is like removing a bullet from a wound in order to allow it to heal. You can not get someone new without removing the pain. If you do so it is like covering a wound whilst a bullet is still in the body.  

7) EMBRACE GOD’S RECONSTRUCTION God will use people in the healing process. New people, new places and new principles and ideas will be introduced in your life.

8) BE GUIDE BY THE WISDOM OF YOUR EXPERIENCE Be wise not cynical or sceptical about a new relationship. Do not conclude that all men or women are the same.  

9) LEARN TO TRUST AGAIN There will be doubts in new relationships. Remember life does not give us guarantees but opportunities.

10) SMILE AND CELEBRATE YOUR RECOVERY Look back at your life and smile. Laugh at yourself. Come back to your senses. Do not take your victory for granted.

Finally Read Psalms 40: 1 - 3

1 I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. 2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. 3 He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the LORD and put their trust in him.

Amen !

The Story Behind the Book called "Snares of a Deceptive Society".

In our lives we undergo so many trials and temptations. My life has not been an exception to this experience.

Before I come to the book, I would like to give you a short history of my life, where some of my experiences are narrated in the book.

I was born a first born son of five children of my parents on 18th December 1953.

This was in the village called Moonga in the Mongu district of the Western province, then called Barotseland Protectorate.

My father, was a Head Teacher at Nakato School, which is some 60Km East of the village.

I was born on a Friday, so my mother initially gave me "Friday" as my first name! However, this was changed later when, my grandfather, gave me the name "Henry" in honour of one white man at Sefula mission.

I understand this white missionary was very kind to my grandfather at the time he was growing up. (Read the previous Blog post called "Blood Lines").

In 1956 my father was transfered to Namachaha School, which was on the Barotse flood plain.

I started school proper in 1960, though I used to attend class from 1959 as a "listener" in a class where my father was teaching.

This was after I insisted that I should start school at an age of 6. During those days the average age to start school was 8 !

As a result of this, I was amongst the youngest in all the classes that I attended from primary up to university. I started to work when I was only 24 and got married at the age of 25.

In 1964 I transferred to Liunga School, which is some 4 Km south of Moonga village. I stayed with my grandparents at the village, since I had to attend my upper school classes which were not available at Namachaha, which was a lower primary school then.

In 1965 whilst I was doing my Standard 4 class, the Government announced that from 1966 there would be no more "Standard" classes.

School used to start in Sub Standard A, then Sub Standard B, Standard 1 up to Standard 6.

This meant that the primary school had 8 classes. These were replaced by the current Grades 1 up to Grade 7 classes. Which means I did Standard 4 in 1965 which was followed by Grade 7 in 1966. Our class was the first ever at Liunga School which previously had classes up to Standard 4 only. Standards 5 and 6 classes were before that only available at the Sefula mission, where my grandfather and father had attended school.

I did my secondary school education from 1967 to 1971 at Sefula Secondary School, which was a co-educational and boarding school.

I did my tertiary education at the University of Zambia in Lusaka from 1972 to 1977,where I awarded a Bachelor's degree in electrical engineering in October 1977.

I joined the mining industry in 1977 where I worked at four operating divisions on the Copperbelt and one in Lusaka. I worked for a total of nearly 33 years, before retirement in January 2010.

Just after my retirement I underwent through a lot of hardships, as a result of conmen and swindlers.

My house in Lusaka, which I bought under the mine employee home ownership scheme in 1999, was almost lost to an organised group of conmen.

As if that was enough I was swindled by different individuals who cheated me that they would go into business with me or give me employment.

I wrote the book "Snares of a Deceptive Society" from March to September 2010 whilst I was undergoing torment.

The title of the book was initially supposed to be "Lamentations of Life" but this was changed after a vision was experienced in June 2010.

You may read the book online for free at:-

http://www.slideshare.net/hmsialex/snares-of-a-deceptive-society

My original idea was to have it published in 2010 but a deal with one Publisher proved to be another nightmare where I ended up losing thousands of Kwacha in revenue.This may call for writing another book !

I am praying that the book will be of some benefit to society and I am planning to incorporate it into an online community based Website and Blog where individuals will share their experiences and educate others on how to cope up in this deceptive world.

Stay blessed !

Blood Lines

Several people have asked me if I were related to a "so and so Nasilele".

I am writing this post to explain how our family name of "Nasilele" come about.

I hope it will assist to dig up some of my "lost" relatives at Mukapani and Nalunembwe villages as will soon be explained below!

I'm the first born son in the Nasilele family. We were originally five children, however, three of our sisters passed on between 1990 and 2008. Our last born is my brother Mukololo.

We come from the Namushakende area of Mongu district in a village called Moonga. (Also known as "Mbulumakanda" meaning "Tortoise of the Lakes".

The village headman's title is "Mwandawande" meaning "Foot of a Lion."

A former headman in the 1960s, by the name of Thomas Mwikisa Muwindwa , wrote a famous Lozi novel called "Imute wa Kalilo".

The name "Nasilele" is of that of our late grandfather, Joshua Nasilele, whose father was from a village called Mukapani.

His mother, Njahi (of the Subia clan from Seshele) , escaped to Moonga village whilst pregnant with Nasilele during one of the tribal wars of those days. The village was on her father's side of place of birth.

One interesting thing about our grandfather and father is that they never had African maiden names.

Even myself, I was given the name "Henry" by one of the missionaries at Sefula. The name "Musialela" was given to me by my grandmother, in memory of her brother who died as a youth soon after having one child called Uyoya. Most of the maiden names in our Nasilele family are from her family !

The Comfort Zone Trap !

Some fifteen years ago, whilst I was working for one of the mining companies on the Copperbelt, some of my children were attending a Primary School that was run by the company.

Our home was very close to the school. The children were, therefore, able to walk to and from school on many occasions.

I was then working as a project engineer and this saw me working out of town most of them. I only had a few occasions when I would work within town and then I could drive them to or from school.

Since my children were then very young, the school had a rule saying that children would only be released when they were escorted by an adult. Our domestic servant was tasked with the duty of escorting them to and from school at specified times.

One day, I happened to be working in town. I informed our domestic worker that I would pick our children from school, as I was coming home for lunch.
There was some drama at the school, when two children of one of the senior managers in the Mines refused to be picked by the company driver, who was sent to pick them from school.

At first I could not understand the cause of the commotion raised by the children until when I came closer to see what was happening.
The two children, a boy and girl, were not happy to be picked in what they called “an inferior vehicle”.

Their father used to send the driver to pick the children his company Mercedes Benz.

On this particular day, for some reason the "usual" vehicle was not available. The driver then picked another vehicle from the company Transport Pool. I can not recall the make of the “offending vehicle”, but I was really surprised why the children could not accept the other vehicle!
After a heated argument with the driver, he was told off and instructed to go away with the “cheap” car! The children then rang their mother to come and pick them.

A few days later I learnt that their mother only managed to pick them after about an hour after she borrowed another Mercedes Benz from a family friend!

At one time I came across some foreign nationals who had "invaded" the Copperbelt and started mining precious minerals in the 1980s and later.
I and some colleagues were visiting some public bars in one of the townships where these foreigners were mostly found. There was a group of five young men whom we found drinking beers outside the premises of one public bar.

They were driving two brand new BMW cars and they had a lot of cash with them.

They had in their company, was a group of women who seemed to be their mistresses or business partners.

They had bought some three crates of beers from inside the crowded public bar and were drinking straight from them. Nearby there was a Braai Stand where chicken, beef and goat meat was roasted.

From the look of the state of matters, they were having a very good time which was spiced with dancing from the music blaring from the stereo of one of the BMW cars and a lot of laughter.

As we watched them having “fun”, there was an incident that left us amazed.

Since there was no nearby water tap where the foreigners and their mistresses were enjoying themselves, one of the men in the group of the revelers started washing the cars with beer from the crates. At least two crates of beer were used for this unusual task!

The scenario above is very common amongst the affluent in our society who believes that being “wealthy” allows them to enjoy life as they so wish.
Has it ever occurred to you to think about the difference between having money and being wealthy? Did you know that there are some people who have a lot of money and yet poor?

Wealth is goods or services that human beings want, such as food, clothing, cars, houses, gadgets, etc.

Money on the other hand, is a means of exchange for wealth in a predefined area. For example, in Zambia our means of exchange of wealth within the boundaries of the country is the Kwacha. In South Africa it’s the Rand and so forth for other countries.

Whenever you travel outside the country, you have to exchange your local money into that which is used in the country you are travelling to. Some money such as the American dollar is accepted as a means of exchange of wealth across many nations.

Money in itself is not wealth as demonstrated below:-

Suppose you were, for some reason, given $1 million today, you would certainly jump up in joy because you will be an instant millionaire!

Suppose that amount of money was given to you in the middle of a desert, where there is no food and water nearby, would it be of any use to you? Of course not, because if you were not rescued in time, you would certainly die of hunger and thirst.

On the other hand, if you had food, water and some shelter from the great heat of the desert you would survive for a greater length of time without the money.

People find themselves in possession of money due to the wealth that they create to give to society. Wealth is what you posses which can not be taken away from you without your consent. For example, knowledge and education is not transferable from one person to the other for free. On the other hand, poverty is in abundance because it does not require money to acquire it!

When an armed robber steals money from a Bank, he has not created any wealth of his own because he has not worked for it. Since this money does not represent real wealth, it would be quickly spend on buying luxuries which soon disappear into thin air. That is why you would never find a robber who is rich for the rest of his life. Many of them end up being killed or jailed for many years.

If you find yourself in possession of a large amount of money, such as winning the Lotto Jackpot, you should have had a plan or project for it. Many Jackpot winners end up poor because they have no plan of how to use the huge amount of money, which comes into their possession at very short notice.

In fact, before putting some money in the hope of winning the Jackpot, you should have a plan for it! Otherwise one should never participate in any lottery at all!

In a similar manner, if one finds oneself born into a rich family, one should ensure that he follows the footsteps of the parents of how they made the money.

Many children born into rich families end up living poor lives in their adulthood when the parents are no longer alive or are unable to provide the money. What this means is that inherited money can never last if is not sustained by wealth.

Many working class people end up destitute after retirement because they depend on being workers who live on a monthly salary for most of their working lives.

On retirement, they are usually given some terminal benefits in a form of a pension. This pension, in most cases, is not adequate to maintain their previous standard of living. Many end up dying prematurely due to depression.
There are many ways of making money legally without solely depending on a monthly income from an employer.

The underlying fact is that one should identify what he is good at doing which other people would like to have in exchange for money.

For example, if you are very good at making handicrafts or music which people like one can make money from that. When you provide goods or services that are in perpetual demand you would end up a rich person. In one post, I wrote about “Nurturing Your Passion” which I believe is the right approach to making money.

Not all that is given to society in exchange for money is always good. For example illicit drugs and sex can not sustain one for long without adverse consequences.

The comfort of being in employment and getting a salary at the end of the month, in possession of easy money or being a child of the affluent always acts as trap for many people who could also look at other means of making money.

This is what I call the comfort zone trap!

Quicker Than Sand - A Poem by Mubita C. Nawa

Quicker than Sand
by Mubita C. Nawa

Quicker than sand you slid past my hand.

A nation mourns with its knees bent.

You represented freshness yet little of it did you get.

A nation mourns and its mind divided.

Your legacy was written in yesteryears glories, your last days were reclusive and full of pain.

A nation mourns and its hearts broken.

You liberalized posterity that others
nationalized.

Your footsteps inspired some yet others erased them.

A nation mourns while souls bleed.

You left many questions unanswered
while certain answers were questioned.

We will rewrite your story as long as
history permits.

We will erect monuments with steel and stone as long as our hearts remain flesh and blood.

A nation mourns while it's leaders wonder why a nation so young it's leaders fade.

Would we be wrong to ask God why?

Quicker than sand you slid past our hand Fred.

Leaving our eyes in tears red.

Would we yet another chance embrace or cry?

Your eloquence so many it inspired.

Your elegance many an eye it filled with bliss.

You were elaborate even in defeat, defiant even at the feet of death.

A nation mourns while its scholars think.

Who will rewrite a new history in the
pages of forgiveness?

Who will speak while vouchers lurk and critics prey?

A nation mourns while FTJ speaks.

Quicker than sand he writes a new
chapter in our lives.

Yet again he has the last word.

But this time he speaks to our conscious.

Rest in Peace FTJ, your excellence.

POEM written by Mubita C. Nawa in
dedication to the late second republican president Mr. Fredrick Titus Chiluba who passed away on June 18th, 2011.

Poem may be published or re posted as long as no alterations or edits are made.

Full credit must be given to the author Mubita C. Nawa at all times. CONTACT; tel 0978117920 www.mubitacnawa.com

Beware of Conmen !

Conmen are becoming more and more tricky and sophisticated !

Yesterday at about 10 hrs. I received a telephone call which looked coming from an international source. The number was in the format : +256 312 xxx xxx.

The "x"s representing some other numbers.

I replied to it and I was connected to an automated answering machine.

The recorded female voice on the other side welcomed me to some survey which I did not clearly understand. However, I was given three options.

Press 1 to continue
Press 2 to call later
Press 3 to quit the survey

Out of curiosity I pressed 1 to continue.

I was welcomed to the "Survey" and was asked to give my details.

At this time, my six sense warned me that I was about to fall into a trap of confidence tricksters. I ended the call without giving any information about myself.

At 10:38 hrs. I again got a call from the same international number. This time I pressed the "Reject" button on my mobile.

I thought I had got rid of the conmen!

At 11:10 hrs. The same international number called again. This time I followed the instruction and chose the "Press 3" option to quit the survey!

Dear friends be warned that Conmen are becoming more and more sophisticated.

Do not allow yourself to participate in any lotteries or unsolicited surveys.

Once you give your details, you are on the route to the hell of torment !

I hope this will be of help to someone.

Stay blessed !

Emergency Services in Zambia

On 15 May 2011, there was a news item from the local media about the loss of lives of more than a dozen children in the Zambian city of Ndola.

A hired mini bus, that was carrying some forty children who were going for a Church function, careered off the road and plunged into the Kafubu River.

The Police and the local Fire Brigade were called to the accident scene to rescue the victims.

According to one television footage of the accident, some witnesses who rushed to the scene of the accident were of the opinion that, if the rescue team had acted swiftly, not so many lives would have been lost.

What incensed them was the method that the Fire Brigade officers used to rescue the victims.

One witness claimed that a rope was thrown to the children so that they could climb out of the sinking vehicle !

They expected the officers to have dived into the water and assist the children.

When one looks at the equipment that the emergency services in Zambia have , it would have been suicidal for the Fire Brigade officers to have gone into the water.

The only section of our community that have adequate emergency rescue systems are the Mines and the Military.

There were two similar accidents which occurred on the Copperbelt in the recent past.

A few years ago, there was a heart breaking loss of a Luanshya mother and her children who drowned in their family car. She was apparently trying to drive through a flooded road at a bridge near the Kamfinsa township after a heavy downpour.

The vehicle was swept off the road into the fast running stream. Their bodies were recovered after several hours by the Fire Brigade with the help of a Mine Rescue Proto Team from a nearby Mine.

Recently a car went off the road and plunged into the Kafue river at a bridge on the Mufulira - Kitwe road. It took many days before the car and the body of the driver were recovered by a team of military divers.

Several road accidents have occurred where lives have been lost unnecessarily during rescue operations.

There two reasons to this.

Most people who rescue road accident victims are not familiar with First Aid practice.

There are cases where people bleed to death because there is no one to help them to stop the bleeding. Others die or become paralyzed permanently due to the manner they are transported from the accident scene to the hospital. A person with a broken spine needs a special method of transportation, for example.

One worry is that it takes time for authorities to respond to emergencies or to remove hazards from the roads.

A recent example is that of a Tanzanian truck that overturned at a sharp corner on the Chingola- Kitwe Road very close to the CEC substation at Luano early this year.

The truck, which was carrying a load of dump truck tyres each weighing over five tonnes, apparently overturned after going through a very big pot hole.

Despite the truck being a danger to individual motorists and passengers of public transport vehicles, it took more than five weeks before the truck was removed.

I happen to have been traveling on the road on a near daily basis during that time. I and friend used to cross with a Police traffic vehicle that was commuting between Chingola and Kitwe.

There were several near misses where some vehicles almost rammed into the obstructing truck. The only warning to other motorists were pieces of tree branches spread on the road from either side and some warning triangles which were not easily seen. The crew of the truck were stuck at the place for all that time without any assistance from anybody.

At one time we stopped our vehicle and interviewed the truck crew. They told us that they have sent word via fellow truck drivers to the owners of the truck who was in Tanzania.

Had a fatal accident occurred as result of the obstructing truck, it was going to be high profile news. As long as no accident occurred it was, apparently alright, with the authorities in charge of road safety !

This is a very sad state of affairs which needs urgent attention from all concerned.

What is lacking in our society is the lack of urgency to resolve problems which are under our control.

What comes to mind is the establishment of road safety organizations which would supplement authorities to reduce the accidents on our roads.

In many parts of the world there clubs such as the Automobile Association (AA) which look into the well being of motorists. If I remember well we used to have such an organization in the distant past when I was just a school boy.

There is potential for establishment of motoring clubs that would remove dangerous obstacles from the roads, provide first aid to accident victims and do rescue operations at accident scenes.

The country has a lot of people who are professionals in the field of first aid and rescue operations. If these put their heads together a formidable organization would be formed.

An example would be if each motorist was asked to contribute a regular fee of say, K10,000 per month, towards such an organization on a voluntary basis, it would go a long way towards reducing suffering to the road users.

As more and more people realize the benefits of belonging to such a "club" it would encourage others to join. This would extend even to rescue operations in residential areas where people find them selves in many emergencies.

Some people may not agree with me and say such duties should be left to the existing sytems run by the Government and Local Authorities.

If one can afford to pay, say K50,000 to belong to a drinking social club, why not belong to one which is looking after his own safety ?

What do you think ?